Rantings of a troubled mind

Beyond the stars
Beyond the mind
Above imagination
Below the doubts
Further than the furthest dream
Within the darkness of the deep
Beyond knowledge
Beyond thought
Above darkness
Below light
Amongst the stars
Under the sea
Where, o death,
Is thy sting?

Longing, wanting,
Hunger, thirst.
Watching, waiting,
It disappears.

Falling behind,
Falling asleep,
Falling from on high,
Into a dream.
Without thought,
Without knowledge,
Into a place
Where light is darkness.
For dreams surround
The mind knocks
The heart opens
Imagination leaps
Desire grows
Feelings dim
Emotion abounds
The soul cries out
In laughter
In sorrow
For peace.

Looking at that empty place
Falling into a dream.
Trying to sense the depth of darkness
Not knowing what could have been.

Wht if I'd just wanted to know,
What if there wasn't me?
Would there be a place tomorrow
Where I could just be free?

Knocking on the open door,
Searching in my heart.
Banging on the gates of heaven,
Trying to do my part.

Why am I so lost, alone?
Why am i a freak?
Is anything worth striving for?
Or am I just asleep?

I just try to be accepted
But life laughs in my face
I'm uncertain and incredibly confused
About the choices I have to make.
How do I end the competition?
How can I mark my place?
When can I stand proud and tall
To meet another's gaze?
Is only the best acceptable?
Is the best who I really am?
When can contentment, satisfaction,
Overcome the fear of losing face?
Is happiness the answer to life,
Or life the answer to happiness?
To seek out good and strive to conquer,
Or sit back with a grin?

-The Madman, 62nd day of the Endless Month.