Insanityness

There goes my sanity...

Fare thee well O Sanity!

I shall miss thee dearly.

Thou have been a most wonderful companion.

A constant friend, under the glow of the sun and candlelight.

Thou have served me well.

And I have betrayed thee.

'Twas my own wrong doing.

I blame no good gentleman for thy departure.

O cruel fate!

Bring my Sanity back to me.

-Rachel-

*not an original Edenia poem. Written by May's friend Rachel. *wink*

You

In friendship
You gave me
A piece of your heart
A piece of yourself
And you trusted me with it

I thank you for that trust
And I must say that I'm touched
To be counted dear enough
To be trusted

I assure you
That I will hold
That trust precious

I will do my utmost best
Not to to fail the friendship test
Nor will I ever intentionally do
Anything that could hurt you

However I must say
That to err is human
And human I am
Thus I apologize in advance
For the bruises I cause
Accidentally or not

Nevertheless take heart
For she who never truly trusted
Never truly knew friendship

So don't be afraid
To trust
Even if you know
The trust could be broken

For one whole piece
In the hands of a true friend
Is worth a thousand broken pieces

So will you do me a favour
And accept a piece of my heart in return?

But wait
I do not have to ask
You have already received
That piece of my heart
When I took yours

I thank you
For trust
And for friendship

Me

Am I sure I know her
Big dreams, flippant, carefree?
Maybe that's just a cover
An image of what I'd love to be.

Maybe all I'm afraid of
Is trusting in someone else.
Afraid of being hurt, afraid to hope,
Afraid you won't love my real self.

I'll make myself vulnerable
Trust my heart to you.
Take a deep breath, sit back and watch
My friend, what will you do?

I'll never know unless I start
Trusting someone else with my heart.

-May-

*not an original Edenia poem. Another one of May's.

Terror, the poem

Walau, eh
Terror lah you
This one terror
That one terror
Everything also terror lah you

Why so humble wan?
You don't know you terror meh?
I tell you now lah
You very terror lah
No need shy shy one

Just look at your abilities
Super terror man...
Your girlfriend also terror
Play sports also terror
Everything also terror lah you

Wah, respect respect man...

-Chin Ah Peng, the Fourth Age

*note: language and vocab based on Sarawakian English. For those who don't understand, "terror" in Saranglish can also mean "good", "great", or "extremely worthy of respect".

Terror Version 2

"Keep quiet!" I told my brother.

The poor boy was shivering and his teeth were chattering from fear and cold.

"I'm sorry," he whimpered with his frail voice.

Our faces were stained from grime, dirt, blood and our tears. We soiled ourselves a few times already. The place stank from rotten rats and piss. Probably ours contributed to the stench.

The footsteps became louder. Pots and plates crashed to the floor as the man overturned the table. As he growled fiercely, he smashed another table.

"Come out you two rascals!" he roared.

"Why is father doing this?" asked my brother as he began to cry again.

I forced my tears down and gulped. "I don't know" was all that I could say.

"I know you're down there!" yelled our father as he purposely stamped his boots into the boarded floor. We could hear him coming nearer to the secret compartment where my brother and I were hiding.

"I'm coming...." he said mockingly. Terror gripped me, and I felt nauseated.

I didn't want to die yet. I didn't want to face my father as his hatred consumes him. I didn't want to see his axe come down on me as he swings it in his drunkenness. I didn't want to see my brother die at my father's hands.

"I'm gonna get you!"

Apprehension struck. I braced myself for death.




Then, the footsteps stopped. I peeped through the cracks of the door. My father propped up a chair, stood on it for a few moments, and kicked it off. His legs trashed around, then finally went limp.

I vomited. After the fit was over, I felt so relieved, I cried and cried. Then I laughed and laughed and cried some more.

"Hey, Julian...." I called my brother. "It's over...."

No response.

"Julian?"

I slowly put my face close to his nose - no breath.

"NO!!!! JULIAN!!!"

My brother had died - he died from terror....

Terror

The little boy cowered under his bed.

Trembling slightly, he willed himself to keep quiet as tears ran silently down his cheeks.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The heavy footsteps drew closer.

Shaking violently now, the little boy screwed his eyes shut.

Thud. Thud.

The footsteps paused next to the bed.

A horrid chuckle. Then a grunt. Something heavy fell to the floor.

The boy held his breath.

Another chuckle. Then footsteps again, heading away.

Suddenly all was silent.

Calming his trembling body, the boy forced himself to open his eyes.

Slowly, he crawled out from under the bed.

And screamed.

Starlight

Far away
The ship is taking me far away
Far away from my memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing your starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

And hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Lets conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

But I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

Far away
The ship is taking me far away
Far away from my memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Yeah
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

I just wanted to hold...


*not an original Edenia song, written actually by Muse

Kupujimu

Fajar menyinsing
Menyinari
Harapan lama hancur punah
Namun yang baru terbit lahir

Bunga-bungaan penuh raksi
Mekar cantik, aku saksi
Kicau-kicauan burung
Menghilangkan murung

Kamsia kamsia Tuhan
Kerna Engkaulah Yang Maha Pemurah
Kerna rahmatlah yang Engkau curah
Kecil tapak tangan, nyiru ditadah

Aku yang kerdil
Telah Kau pentingkan
Aku yang bersalah
Telah Kau sayangi

Terima kasih kuucapkan
Walau tiada memadai
Minta maaf kulafazkan
Walau tiada mencukupi

Kini aku mengecapi
Kebahagiaan baru
Sekarang kudakapi
Penyelamat
Kini aku menikmati
Kegembiraan penuh segar
Sekarang kupuji
Yesus dalam hatiku.

Blind

I still love you, and I know that you know.

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
and still I have the pain I have to carry
a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like is was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go

after all this time
would you ever wanna leave it
maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you will ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
and I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me dies when I let you go

My flower

Young and fragrant
Alone and happy

I am lost
Lonely and sad
As I reside
In my domain of despair

The depths seem shallow
Death seems friendly
Nothing can stop me
When I gaze upon my flower

I would have kept you safe
I would have stood by you
I would have sheltered you
I would have protected you
I would have been your vanguard
I would have been your knight in shining armour
I would have been your warrior

I would have watched over you as you go to sleep.
I would have watched over you until you sleep.
Only then would I go to sleep - I'll only sleep after you.
I would have made sure that you're far away dreaming before I catch my train to dreamland.

And, I would wake up before you so that I can watch you wake.
I would be the one who greets you good morning even before you can realise it's morning or the sun's shining on your beautiful face.

It would have been that way if you were mine.
But heck no.

Humouresque

"Know why the polar ice caps are melting?"

"Why?"

"'Cause you're too hot."

"..."

"...I could use some ice to patch the hole up, but..."

"What?"

"I only have eyes for you."

"Oh my god you're so lame."

"No wonder I fell for you."


*not an original Edenia post. Taken from http://raining-noodles.blogspot.com. =P

Right Again

When I look into your eyes
I see the loneliness inside
And all I want to do
Is put my arms around you

And when you scream into my ear
I see the pain, i feel the fear
Just want to hold you tight
Keep you right here by my side

Won't you let me in
Will you keep the door shut
I'm still knocking
Let me in your heart

I want to make it alright
I want to see you smile again
I know that I can't change the past
But let me take away the pain
No one can face the world alone
We need the place that we call home
Let me be your friend
I want to make things right again
Right again

You are the only one for me
I just can't stop loving you
You can set my heart free
Just say you love me too

You're so lovely
And I'm so lonely
Won't you love me too


Lyrics by Asheroth
Music by Es'Qara

Age of origin unknown

I could sing of Your love forever

Over the mountains and the seas
Your river runs with love for me
I will open up my heart
And let the Healer set me free

I'm happy happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when Your love came down

I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever

And oh, I feel like dancing
It's foolishness I know
But when the world has seen the light
They will dance with joy like we're dancing now

I could sing of Your love forever

Fear

Darkness lurks
Shadows hover in the background
Waiting

The air is stifling
Space shrinks
I hurry on

Still the darkness finds me
Threatening
Whispers fill my head

The lights go out
I close my eyes
Afraid

My heart thuds in my chests
Perspiration flows
I shiver
But not of cold

Shadows surround me
One draws near
I scream
But it only whispers

"They are coming."
"They are here."

Are you ready?

Crack went the unsuspecting soldier's neck.

Undisturbed, my twin continued to swing his blade like a madman. His sword severed heads right and left. His precision astounded me even until that present moment.

I kept my eyes on the coming opponent. I feinted left. He thrust his sword forward, and I dodged to the right. At the same time, I rammed my right shoulder into his chest. My hammer came down upon his forehead before he could recover from the charge. I watched brain matter dribble out from his ears as he crumpled to the ground.

"I've got seven already!"

I grinned. "Damn you, you've got a sword!"

"Now, that's your problem," he retorted as he slashed another man's head off. "You like your rusty hammer."

He laughed at my silence.
I laughed back.

Thwack!

Another man down.

"Halt!" screamed a woman.

"Ah, finally..." said my twin and I in unison.

I felt a disturbance in the air around us. Then the woman cast a bolt of lightning at our direction. We jumped aside and the bolt hit a tree, sending it crashing down with smoke billowing in all directions.

"Lady Sixor protect us," I whispered.

My twin grinned childishly. A strange light was glowing in his eyes. Then I felt an influx of energy.

A childish grinned formed on my lips.

"ARE YOU READY?" we said in one voice.

Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

The wind is bitter cold.

Hugging herself, she looks over the edge of the cliff.

The waves smash into the rocks below.

"Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"

A promise of love. Of life.

Gone forever.

"Oh, God, why did you take him?!!" she screams.

Silence. Her cries unanswered, save for the whistling wind that carries her screams away.

Tears run down her cheeks.

Reaching into her bag, she draws out the small urn that contains all that remains of her beloved.

"You jump, I jump," she whispers.

She tosses the urn off the edge of the cliff.

Then jumps after it.

Into oblivion.

Kill me

I see dead people.

The dead who walk during the day, but cry their hearts out in the dark bowels of the night.

The stringed instruments ring. Sad songs echo the dead in their despairing.

End this torment, they plead.

They wish to yield. But, the pain clings onto them like a mother clinging onto her dying babe.



Oh yes, I see dead people.

The dead who smile in the crowds of companions, but howl in anguish at their loss.

The drums rumble. Hollow, meaningless beating resonate in their empty, shattered hearts.

Kill me, I beg.

My heart is leaking and all the love inside is flowing away, flowing into the depths of purgatory.

Kill me. Before my empty heart shrivels into a rotten fruit of hate.

Suffering

Screaming
I reach
Into the depths of my soul

I feel
Nothing but pain
Overwhelming
It burns so

Sobbing
I am overcome
My gut is wrenched
My heart is rent
I cannot feel hope

Choking
My mind explodes
I hear nothing but screams

My heart pounds
My limbs tremble

I take a deep breath

Subsiding
I look into the mirror
A lonely wreck stares back at me
Silently

The pain is palpable
The grief constant
My world has crumbled

I feel hollow
Lost for words
Shaken to the core

I will never love again

-Asheroth, age of origin unknown

Keep your dirty hands off

I stared into his deep black eyes.

So intriguing, so mesmerizing, so exotic....

"Let's go for a walk," he suggested.

Oooh... His voice... Sweet music..

I gulped. "Why not?" I couldn't help but notice the slight quiver in my voice.

We slowly and quietly left the library. The night sky was dotted with a million stars, and the coy moon hid behind tufts of clouds.

Dark. Romantic.

Dangerous.

I felt a sudden urge to be cautious.

Wait, I can trust him....

Can I?

"Diane?"

"Yes?" The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

ARCANE ENERGY! WHAT'S GOING ON?

Suddenly, I felt so relaxed...

Let it all go.... Relax...

He began to undress me...

His handsome face... His delicate kisses.. His soft whispers... His gentle caressing... His stiff manhood...

Oh.... The bliss, the enjoyment... Touching me here and there...


NO!!!!

"Keep your dirty hands off!!!" I screamed. At that instant, I broke free from his hypnosis spell.

The animal! How could he?

I pushed him away, tears flowing down my cheeks.

Destiny

Murky
The way is
The path is dark and scary

He plants one foot forward
But his feet find nothing but air

Stumbling
The darkness looms
But is averted

Turning
Questions scream forth
Confusion strikes out

There is no answer

Sighing
He stops
Breathing deeply

Realization dawns
Determination grows
As does Fear

But resigned to the inevitable
He calls forth matter
And surveys his options

Choice has become Chosen

The way is lost
He now forges his own

Destiny lies ahead

-Es'Qara, age of origin unknown

The Gods

"Let me teach you something. Something they don't teach in the temples. The gods... They envy us. Why? Because we're mortals. Everything is more beautiful."

-quoted from Troy.

Hero

Reach and you will touch
Touch but there's no feeling

Speak and you'll be heard
Heard but not understood

Run and you will finish the race
Finish but with no recognition

Kill and you will survive
Survive but there's no honour in living

What's the point in these laments

Just do it
And shut up

If you do so
You are my hero
You are a hero in my eyes

But you will be shunned...

Are you willing to humble yourself?
Relinquish all you cherish
Just to make me smile?

Talk.

She slowly crumpled to the ground.
He immediately ran to her wailing in disbelief.

"SEONA!!!"

Hasegawa fell onto his knees next to his wife's lifeless body. Tears of rage welled up in his eyes. But he held those tears back as he rose.

"You've taken away everything else from me," he growled through his clenched teeth. "Was it not enough?"

"She gets in the way of your service to me."

"Damn you!" Hasegawa roared back in anger. "Why won't you just banish me to the dark bowels of your abyss? Emancipate me from this torment!"

"I cannot..."

"You're Sixor!!! You're a goddess!"

"I love you Hasegawa..."

"Huh? What?"

And there was silence.