A Dirge To What I Used To Be

The dreary weather mimics
how I feel inside
Winter is the epic
manifestation of my mind

Dichotomies are blurred
right and wrong, ambiguous
All thanks to your words
so careless and superflous

If you just let me be
unhindered and uncriticized
I would have understood felicity
my potential, realized

But alas this is what I've become
struggling desperately to feel normal
Trying to feel past being numb
finding meaning in the pain that seems eternal


[Written by my muy talented friend Maria. xD It's really a shame she doesn't update her blog often enough. =( Posted here with prior consent, of course. xP]

Per-My-Suri

Imagine aku TVmu
Transmisionku terbit untukmu
Dramaku produk khas siaranmu
Trans-sonet gelora Satelit Chinta

Imagine aku radiomu
Intermisionku orbit untukmu
E-ramaku rekord khas hiburanmu
Inter-planet kejora Ke marikh asthma-ra

per-MY-suri rumahku
per-My-suri radarku
per-MY-suri syurgaku
Yang ter-isteri-mewa

Imagine aku VJmu
Transvisiku terbitan untukmu
Karektorku ilham khas pedomanmu
Trans-fonik gelora Satelit Chinta

Imagine aku DJmu
Intervisionku orbit untukmu
Metaforku iltizam khas buatmu
Inter-sonik kejora Ke-marikh asthma-ra

per-MY-suri rumahku
per-My-suri radarku
per-MY-suri syurgaku
Yang ter-isteri-mewa

***

Permysuri by a local band OAG (from their album OrAnG).
These dudes inspire me to write Manglish.

One of their members was from SJS Kuching!

Birthday

*This post is not directly related to Edenia


I re-dedicate this poem to my wife Yen Pinng: Lighthouse


****

LIGHTHOUSE

You shine
Like a fire

Sadness and sorrow
Fade away

The tears dry up
From the warmth you exude

Your face
Bright like a lighthouse

I love the gentle smile on your face
As you ponder about the future

You no longer yell as much as you did before
You become so subservient, protective

I love the way you would clutch your tummy
Between mouthfuls as we dine at sunset

You would whisper softly
To calm the little tyrant inside

Oh I await the day
Of our baby's birth

Until then
Be patient

My lighthouse.

****

Yes my love, let's grow up and grow old together.

****

Note: Sorry, can't help it but misuse this blog for personal purposes. Don't worry, it'll happen only once a year.

Sanctuary

"We're stranded," I said softly.

"Really?" She asked, moving up beside me.

"Look," I pointed. The stormy sea had risen more than ten feet, and waves were cascading over the narrow causeway that was our only link to the rest of the world.

From our lofty view at the top of the lighthouse, we watched in silence as the angry storm roared its challenge at the world. None but the wind answered, its howling voice matching the thundering crashes of thunder.

"How long will we be stuck here?" Her quiet question rose above the din outside.

"I don't know. A few days, probably. This storm looks pretty bad," I answered absently, my attention still drawn to the mighty display of force outside that Mother Nature had conjured.

Her touch was light as she gently linked her fingers with mine. I turned to look at her.

"Good," she said simply, as her face broke into a soft smile.

Turning back to face the storm, we watched quietly with our fingers linked, silent observers of the fury outside that, for all its might, could not tear down the peace that reigned in our little sanctuary.


To be continued...

f.a.c.a.d.e

"Never judge a book by its cover"
You probably have heard them all
Ancient proverbs and old wives' tales
Exist for a good reason

Underneath the smiles
Lives a repressed creature
Ever ready to rear its ugly head
Waiting to unleash its full monstrosity

Beyond the whole optimism act
Lies a rotten core of self-deception
Successfully conning everyone in sight
Leaving no inkling or suspicion

Beneath the happy facade
Lurks a troubled Jekyll-Hyde complex
Always yearning to be all that is good
Yet ultimately losing out to the dark side

It may come as a shock
I'm sorry to say that
You don't understand me
I barely even know who I am

[My very first self-posted entry! *beams* Shout-out to May for brainstorming with me to come up with the title. :P]

Another "Untitled"

I like it when you grin,
Except the part you became so mean;
I like it when you smile,
Except the part you cranked my style;
I like it when you laugh,
Except the part you hit me with a staff.

But why do you say I'm the one,
When you point at me with you air gun,
But why do you say you're true,
When you're the one cuckoo.

I remember when I was at your door,
You were still playing Tekken 4,
Then you saw me standing there,
And called me in as if you cared,
Asked me to enter your room,
But only to play Doom.

But why do you forget what I said,
Is it because you banged your head?
But why do you blame it on me,
Is it because you're crazy?

Now I know why,
Why you wanted to say goodbye,
And why you're so solemn,
Because you're sent to the asylum.

XD

****

by Julius. Re-posted without permission.

Maybe should make him an author also. That dude is one good poet! He can rhyme! Damn! I'm put to shame.

Vulnerable

I have my pride too,
Love.

And I'm,
I'm
Afraid to know
What is beyond my control
Scared to feel
What I cannot reveal
Love, you leave me
Vulnerable.

Can I choose
Not to understand,
Fail to comprehend?
Let me play pretend,
Shy away from the hurt
And inevitable
Heartbreak
Avoid the empty promises
You prompt mankind to make.

I will live
In denial.

*written a long time ago, last year, to be more precise. Credits go to Rach for fishing this out of her email inbox. =P*

A Date

The crowd cheered and clapped as the actors took one last bow before leaving the stage.

Seona turned and gave me a smile. I squeezed her hand gently and smiled back. It was quite unbelievable that I was in love with a girl who I thought I wouldn't be in love with. And just like all those mawkish love stories I've listened to, I'm the Romeo who speaks to his Juliet with his eyes and smiles.

Yea, truly with that simple gaze, smile and squeeze, countless words were exchanged. I don't think either one of us understood the language we're speaking, but at least our subconscious understood the subliminal messages that were relayed.

We rose, and took slow steps. As I walked her back, we didn't speak a word. Before long, we arrived at her doorstep.

"Thank you for spending time with me," I told her. I kissed her hand.

"Xeo, I like spending time with you. Thank you," Seona replied.

I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was under the moonlight. Damn it, all the soppy songs sung by those lovestruck minstrels, I'm like the men they sing about!

She leaned close and kissed me.

"Good night Xeo," she said as she gently loosed her fingers from mine and went into her house.

I smiled.