Goodbye

"Mummy!" the little boy shouted, and surged forward, breaking free from the grasp of the man who was holding him. Running clumsily, he headed towards a young woman dressed in gray, whose hands were tied behind her back. She was walking slowly, escorted by two burly guards.

The woman started as she noticed the little boy running towards her.

"That's my son," she said quietly to the guards. "Please, untie me."

The guards hesitated, uncertain, then one of them nodded, and quickly released her bonds.

Kneeling, she turned and embraced the little boy as he ran into her arms. Soft tears ran down her cheek as she held him tight.

"Where are you going, mummy?" the little boy asked, his voice muffled by the woman's body.

"I'm going away, Hal," the young woman answered chokingly. The tears flowed down faster than ever.

"OK. When will you be back, mummy?"

"I'm not coming back, Hal," the woman said softly.

Indignant, the child pulled away. "But you've got to come back! You have to see my room! Uncle Jay made it sooo good! And he's teaching me to ride Jumper!"

"I'm sorry, Hal. I can't come back." She tried to smile reassuringly but failed.

The little boy considered this for a moment.

"Then can I go with you?" he asked earnestly.

She thought her heart would break.

"No, Hal, I'm sorry." One of the guards put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Hal. I have to go."

"But I want to go with you!!!" The little boy did not understand.

The young woman hugged him tightly for the last time. "Remember this, Hal. Mummy will always love you."

A young man materialized in front of them. "Elizabeth? I'll take him."

The young woman stood up and nodded, but her tears did not stop. "Thank you, Jay. And God bless you."

The man nodded, his face unreadable. Then he carried the wailing chld away.

Elizabeth took a deep breath, raised her head high, and walked with pride and dignity towards the gallows that awaited her.

The crowd was silent.

What's the choice?

Words fade away
And their meanings tag along

There is pain today
And there is no song

All there is, is myth
Of a thing called salvation

In the face of it all, I breathe
I cling on in desperation

Let not this heart shatter
For I won't be able to pick up the pieces
My fingers are cut; they bleed
My eyes are blurred by my tears

Let not this friendship crumble
For I won't be able to cement it again
My arms are weary; they've been abused
My soul is forfeit....

For I am another slave of the heart.

So, what's the choice?
Live in futility - where there is no colour or music or laughter?
Or, to seek something I really yen for... but something I can never own... and end up killing myself running, trying to finish a race that's already won by someone else...

What is my choice?

Arrogance

Arrogance.

Maybe that's me
If it is
Then I'm sorry.

Maybe that's you
If that's true
You know what to do.

Maybe its neither
Then I'm sorry
For the bother.

Still
What is arrogance?
A puffed-up fool?
An overconfident persona?
A boastful idiot?

Maybe its just a slip of the tongue
Or a poor choice of words.
Maybe its a cover up,
A mask from what really lies within.

Never judge a book by its cover
Or a person by his initial appearance.

In truth
Arrogance often belies insecurity
And a need for acceptance too

So don't judge the arrogant
But pity them
They need love more than you do

-A thousand apologies, Ja'el Wind, age of origin unknown

Ambivalence

She.
Loves.
Another.
Man.

A.
Man.
Who.
I.
Am.
Not.

A.
Man.
Who.
I.
Cannot.
Match.

A.
Man.
Who.
Is.
My.
Brother.

I.
Am.
Happy.
I.
Am.
Content.

They.
Have.
Been.
Hiding.

I.
Galvanised.
Their.
Honesty.
I.
Brought.
Their.
Loves.
Out.
Into.
The.
Open.

Now.
They.
Are.
In.
Love.

I.
Start.
To.
Regret.

I.
Begin.
To.
Envy.
Them.

But.

Love.
Is.
Sacrifice.

Love.
Is.
Agape.

I.
Self-destruct.
In.
Order.
To.
Preserve.
My.
Friendship.
With.
Her.
My.
Ties.
With.
Him.

I.

Love.

Her....



;( no words can define how I feel. So overjoyed so numb so happy so sad so lost so hurt so satisfied so free...

Inspiration struck...

I Missed.

You placed the key to your heart

In my hands.

I laughed it away

in disbelief,

Breaking your heart.

It tore us apart,

And you closed up.

Why didn't you say anything?

If only you did.

I dared not tell

But I too loved you.

You never knew.

As I taught you how to cry,

You taught my heart how to bleed.

-May-

*Not an original Edenia poem. Its another one of May's, who seems to be becoming an auxiliary contributer.=)

Love at first sight

(Another post on the profound feelings we feel when our hormones simply rage back and forth in our streams of hot, young blood.)

She looked wonderful that night. Her skin was whiter than the snow, and her eyes, bluer than the bluest skies. Her hair was slightly messy; the shoulder-length locks of black hair dangled around her ears and pink cheeks. As black as her hair was her simple yet striking satin dress. Even without any lace or fancy decorations, her appearance took my breath away. Her dainty steps made soft clicking sounds on the smooth, shiny mezzanine floor. It amazed that a person like her could hold up an air of such grace and elegance. I was dumbstruck. Her presence sent me into a world of lonely and shameful despairing. I had been teasing her; I wanted to discourage her from coming to the ball. I insulted her looks; she had looked like a dirty street rat that had no dignity. But she took up the challenge and now she was there before me looking like an angel. An angel whom I have fallen for.

"Xeo," her gentle voice beckoned for me. Her sweet, melodious voice echoed through the dim, narrow hallway.

I could not say anything. I was frozen by her awesome beauty.

"Xeo," she came again.

"Yes?" I answered with a question.

"Do I look alright?" she asked as she swung her frilly skirt ends left and right with a slightly bashful tone.

I cleared my throat. I felt my face growing hot. "You look wonderful tonight."

Our eyes met and something happened. It was special.

It was as if the world was about to collide into the sun, but all you can think about is to look at a a flower, smell the fragrance coming from it, ponder about the fragility of it all and feel happy and contented; just as if there was nothing wrong.

I had to use all that I had in me to restrain myself from pulling her lithe body towards mine, to hold it tight and kiss those lips that were crying out for mine.

"Xeo?" she asked, a little puzzled. "Are you alright?"

I said, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."

"Look, if you're guilty about making fun of me," she began. "Forget it, okay."

There was silence for a few minutes.

"Shall we dance?" I offered.

Her soft face broke into a childish grin. "Yes, let's!"




note:
By the way people, I don't believe in love at first sight; THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. Like, perhaps. But not love.

On Love

It would be difficult, almost impossible, for a single individual like me to completely define love. For love reveals itself in different ways to different people. Here, though, I will try to take a general and objective view of love.

The concept of love is not new. It is as old as time itself. Since the beginning, we sentient mortals have sensed something in our social interaction and relationships, and called it love.

But what is love? Is it merely an emotion, as many have claimed? Is love just a great influx of passion and longing for someone or something, to die away eventually? Or is it more than just a feeling? Something more... divine, perhaps?

People say there are many kinds of love. An intense, erotic love of passion between newlyweds. Or a cooler, but more stable love between older couples. Or love between a father and his son, or a mother and her children. Or love between two friends that bind them together forever. Or love between a master and his servant, or a dog and its owner. Or complete, unconditional, divine love God has for his creations.

Which of these is love? Are they all love? Or are they all not love? Or are they all simply different aspects of love? Can any of them really define love?

But still, the base question remains unanswered: What is love? If someone were to suddenly ask me that question, my immediate answer would be that love is an emotional attachment that someone has for another person or object that causes that person to value the other person or object higher than himself/herself.

But even as I write that answer down, it seems rather empty and incomplete. Is love merely an emotional attachment? Isn't it more than that? Maybe. But I would also say that love is true unselfishness. However, I would be hard-pressed to say whether valuing someone or something above oneself is love itself, or merely an effect, or consequence, of love.

Taking the former as fact simplifies love as love=valuing someone/something above oneself. But choosing the latter brings up the answer that love=the cause of valuing someone/something above oneself.

So what is that 'cause'? Love, of course, is the answer. But still I am unsatisfied. What is love???

To be continued.

Questions to ponder:
1. Is love an action, or a reaction?
2. Can you love someone without liking him?

-Musings, by the ArchMage BenGarth

Not as good as you

Okay, I'll admit it
I'm not as good as you
I'm inferior
I'm less clever
An insect beneath your shoe

So what now?
Want to rub it in?
Believe me, it has been
From above, from below
From the glances and the frowns
And the snorts of disbelief

So what if I'm inferior?
I know it, so do you
I'm inferior in your eyes
And I feel bad because of it too

I tell people I don't believe in inferiority
But now I tell you I'm feeling it
And hating it with an intensity

So now I've blatantly admitted I'm inferior
What good does it do to you?
Is your pride within inflated?
Do you feel triumph? Or disgust?
They say no one can make you feel inferior without your consent
I don't think thats true
For consent is given unconsciously
And who can control the darkest recesses of the mind?

At least
There is always a bottom rung to the ladder
Where the only way is up

-I'm feeling good, Ana'rien, 20th Year of Despair