For someone special

It's absurd. Getting out of hand.

It's been deep down inside of me, and living a life of denial has gotten the better of me.

Yes, I do love you. Oh so much, you don't know how much.




There's nothing else on my mind. I love you to bits. That's all that's clear.

Every time I see you, I feeling like bursting because I have to consciously remind myself to "kawal macho" and not to reveal my deepest feelings. Every time I'm on the verge of telling you, I pull back, I stay silent.



"If there's a problem, I would prefer it if you told me," you said to me once.

It's not that simple, I thought.



This nagging feeling inside, I don't want it there. It's perplexing.

"Let it out? Or just let it go away," you said.

I can't afford to let it out and ruin our friendship.
I'll wait for it to pass, I'll just love you from afar. Though I will end up crushed in anguish, it would be better than to spoil our friendship because of my selfishness.



But ultimately, I love you. Maybe someday, we can understand it and experience something special together.