Dead Fish Don't Flop

[My friend, Viktoriya Ishchuk's work of fiction. Posted here because I thought it was more than good enough to share. ;P]



“Natalie?” The psychiatrist asked again. She tilted her head to the side to make sure that I was paying attention. I didn’t respond. The 40 something woman adjusted her glasses and uncrossed her legs. She looked frustrated, in a very professional way. “Natalie, I am going to ask you some questions,” she said in a shrink-like voice. “Some questions will be difficult to answer, but I want you to try and answer them to the best of your abilities. Does that sound OK?” Once again, she tried to meet my eyes, but I was determined to continue looking the other way. She sat quite still, just looking at me with a hundred questions floating behind her murky, brown eyes.

She sat back in her seat and adjusted her glasses again. Picking up what looked like my file, she began reading off my clinical history. “I understand that you were last seen by a Dr. Marlow? Is that correct? He diagnosed you with posttraumatic stress and with signs of schizophrenia, saying that you have hallucinations about another world…” She looked at me for affirmation. “You have had psychotherapy…clozapine…did it not work for you?”

Flipping to another page, she read my file further, echoing the two other psychiatrists I had seen. “It says here, that you went missing for almost three years -- that’s an awfully long time – and that you were finally found in New Zealand by a coast guard.” As I waited for her to process the information, I looked at the wall of plaques and credentials. Audrey J. Stellar, M.D. currently employed in Mayo Clinic, Rochester MN. “Do you want to tell me about your experience?”

No. I didn’t want to tell her about my experience.

“No? Well, it says here that your mother is very concerned about your wellbeing…”

I suppose, in her own way, she is.

“Natalie,” she said rather firmly, definitely frustrated with my lack of participation. “I need you to talk to me. Tell me what happened in New Zealand. Why were you gone for three years?”

You wouldn’t understand…

“It says here…” her tone shifted from matter-of-fact to empathetic. She took her glasses off completely and rested the frame on her lap. “Now, I called New Zealand to speak to the coast guard. It took a little digging, but I finally found the man by the name of Caleb Guilford – he was the one who fished you out of the Pacific.” I stiffened. “He remembered you quite well, saying that you were, and I quote, ‘the strangest fish he’s ever caught’.

When I asked him if he could expand on the idea, he said, and I quote again, ‘I found her floating on something like wood, only it looked gold with carvings of snakes and winged beasts – dragons or something. I thought she was dead at first, but as my boys and I hauled her in, she woke up with a start. She started screaming bloody murder. It was the strangest thing, I tell ya!

The first things she said to us were completely bizarre. It was pretty much mumbo jumbo for the first twenty minutes. A boy of mine took Latin in school, and he said he recognized a few words here and there. Who knows what language she kept yapping in, but eventually she switched to speaking English. God help us, but the first words I understood were “I need to tell her, I need to tell the Dragon Queen.” Then, if I remember correctly, she said something like “I want to go back and see Dan.” Maybe it was Brandon or Ben or something like that. I tell ya, it was the strangest day. You don’t forget a character like that girl.’

Well, Natalie, what do you think?” She crossed her legs in a different way, like Queen Elizabeth II, like Queen Sera…

“Is Dan your boyfriend?” I wanted to slap her.

His name is Bran.

“Did Dan take you to New Zealand?”

His name is Bran.

“Did Dan force you to go to New Zealand?”

For the last time, his name is Bran.

“Did Dan…” I slammed my fist down on the hardwood table, shaking the picture frames and causing the pencils to role lazily off the desk. Audrey remained relatively calm, considering the circumstances.

“I told you,” I huffed in irritation, “his name is Bran.” How could that stupid coast guard screw up a simple name like that? Audrey stopped a few pencils from falling. Lowering my file, charts, ET scans, and whatever else onto the desk, she folded her arms and smiled.

“No, Natalie, you didn’t tell me his name was Bran. But I am happy to make the correction.” Her smile was too gleeful in my opinion.

“Just because I am talking now, doesn’t mean that I will tell you everything. But I want to lay down some ground rules, since I understand that I am confined to a mental institution. Is that correct?” I couldn’t resist mocking her a little bit. I was in control of the situation now, and that is the way it was going to be from now on. She nodded, like she was letting me play house for a little while.

“Let’s start with rule number one: I will not take any medication for any mental reason. I am not unstable or dangerous, so don’t shove drugs down my throat! Moving on to rule number two: I will be given the benefit of the doubt. I know my story might sound crazy, but adults here have no imagination. All they know is science and reasoning. If I am going to tell my story, you need to listen without that judgment; you need to be a newborn, looking at a brand new world for the first time. Anything is possible. Nothing is quite logical. Understand?” I paused to let her process my request.

“I want one more thing,” I said taking a deep, shaky breath. I wasn’t sure what…no, I shouldn’t, but I wanted to try just once. Maybe, I…maybe they will let me back. “I will tell you everything. I will be your stupid experiment, your guinea pig, and your lab rat, whatever. I just want to go back to New Zealand. Please, promise to take me to New Zealand after all this is done.”

Audrey looked at me, then back down to her glasses. She twirled them between indecisive fingers. I wanted to add another please, maybe if I agree to let her publish this case study she will agree to my bargain. I couldn’t tell if she was the kind of woman I should bait or appeal to? Finally, after what seemed like forever, she nodded her head slowly.

“Ok, Natalie,” she said in a quiet, thoughtful voice. Her eyes met mine. “Some of the things you want are a little tricky, but I can pull a few strings. You should know that I genuinely want to understand you. I want to help you. I am willing to break a few rules because I want to hear your story from, I have to admit, both a professional and personal curiosity. Do we understand each other?”

I nodded, excited that there was finally progress. Somebody was willing to take the time to listen with clean ears. I decided that I liked Audrey. I was going to tell her my story in full detail. Her case study was going to be so brilliant, colorful, and different, that it would make her famous. It didn’t matter if my personal life was going to be made public; I was going to be in another world entirely.

“Are you ready to hear my story?” I began, warming up to the ultimate beginning. “I can’t pin point any particular experience or one word that describes my journey, because it wasn’t a day trip, it was three years of my life. It all began back in my hometown, Minneapolis, where I went to the Renaissance Festival only to be kidnapped…”

[Link to more chapters right here! =D]