Confrontation

*This is Angela's meeting with Marshall at the end of the story.



Angela

I could feel my face starting to heat up, I could hear my heartbeat picking up pace. My palms were cold and I think I may have just lost my ability to form words. The topic of our conversation wasn't exactly my forte.

"Let's settle this once and for all," he declared. I could sense the frustration boiling up in his voice, he was getting impatient.

I just shook my head gently, I didn't know what else to say or do. I was already reaching for my bag, ready to make a run for it.

Just as I turned my back on him, he stood up from where he was sitting. With one swift move, he managed to wrap his fingers around my hand, preventing me from making my getaway.

"Please," was all he murmured, his voice barely audible.

I stared at my feet, trying my best not to make any eye contact with him.

"What are you so afraid of?" he asked. I just shrugged. I had the answer to his question in my head, and I wasn't planning on sharing it with the world. Not yet, anyway.

It was as if time had frozen the two of us in our positions. We stood a foot away from each other, my hand was still in his. It felt nice like that and I secretly wished he would never let go. I quickly banished the thought just as it surfaced in my stream of consciousness. What on earth are you thinking? I almost yelled out loud. I gave myself a subconscious whack in the head.

I could tell he wasn't about to give up, his eyes were still searching my face for answers.

"Okay, I see you're not going to budge," he loosened his fingers and released my hand from his grip. "You were always the stubborn one," he continued. I looked up from my feet and gave his face a quick glance, his face was unreadable but his eyes looked defeated.

Oh, that done it. That very look did the trick. Is this reverse psychology or what?

"You," Someone who had a voice very similar to mine mumbled. That couldn't be me, right? Oh crap, I think it is me.

"What?" he sounded surprised to hear me speak too.

"Of you. You asked me what I was afraid of, and it's you," Nothing stopped the voice now. It was going on a roll and I couldn't contain it!

The defeated look in his eyes was now replaced with one of hurt.

"But, why?"

I didn't want to go on, but I couldn't possibly leave it at that. I sighed. He needed to know the whole truth.

"Well, because.. because I just do," I said. Oops, that didn't come out quite right. I'm horrendously bad at this, bad at discussing feelings of this sort. Honestly, I like being on the sidelines more. I was usually the one people came to when they needed a listening ear, I'd take being a listener any day of the week. I sighed inwardly. I really wasn't feeling this role reversal thing. I stared at him, praying that he got the unspoken message anyway.

Maybe he knew I didn't mean it like that, maybe he could sense the uncertainty in my quivering voice when I said those words to him. He seemed to have understood well enough because the mood somehow lightened up a bit. Before long, his lips were pulled into a smile, and I found myself grinning back easily.

Again, there was silence between us. Only this time, it wasn't of the awkward sort. It just seemed natural, until he decided to break it.

"I like you," he blurted out. Although there was no indication that he let the information slip unintentionally. Maybe he had rehearsed it all?

Oh no... did he just say what I think he just said?

"Excuse me?" I managed to mutter. I'm surprised I haven't started fleeing yet.

"I like you, I like you a lot, I have ever since..." his voice trailed, "I'm-not-sure-when.. but that's not the point," he ran his fingers through his hair, frustration creeping up his face. He didn't look quite like his usual self right then. He actually seemed.. nervous.

Watching him fret was pretty amusing, I was kind of enjoying it. It wasn't everyday I see a usually self-assured guy have a little anxiety attack right in front of me.

"The point is...," He looked up, that's when his eyes and mine met. He saw that I was smiling at him and decided to stray from the topic, "And what are you grinning at?"

I shook my head and smiled some more.

"I'm standing here... pouring my heart out to you and all you do is smile that goofy grin of yours?" he said, I knew he was teasing me.

"Well, what else do you propose me do? Break down and start sobbing uncontrallably?" I asked in return, my tone was that of a joking one. I even faked an unconvincing laugh to accompany my lame attempt at the joke. Although I'm beginning to sense that this really didn't seem the best of times to crack a funny line.

He didn't laugh along with me, much to my despair. He just looked at me with those impenetrable eyes of his. I groaned. I hated it when I couldn't read him.

"Hey, that was pretty fun-," I started defensively, but never got to finish the sentence. Before I even saw it coming, I found myself wrapped tightly in his arms. That little gesture took me by surprise. The smell of his freshly laundered shirt, coupled with his familiar clean boyish scent lingered on in my mind. I felt strangely at ease, just standing there with my head on his shoulders. I won't lie, there were butterflies swarming about my insides and my heartbeat was missing a skip or two.

Oddly enough, I didn't seem to mind them one bit.

"Of course I don't want you to cry, you goof," he laughed. I felt his fingers caressing my hair gently. "Hugging me back would be preferable," Upon hearing what he said, I smiled despite myself.

"You know? For someone who claims that she's scared of yours truly here, you don't look like you're in a state of horror right now," he teased some more.

"Oh?" I pushed away and looked up at him.

"Who said I wasn't scared, still?" I challenged.

He pinched my nose lightly and said, "Well, I can safely assume that you don't exactly hold onto people you deem frightful quite as tightly, do you?"

Incredulous! How could.. how could he read me like an open book? I immediately pulled away from him and crossed my arms defensively.

"Come on, I was kidding, you know I was,"

"Now please enlighten me, why do I scare you so much?" he asked with a quizzical expression plastered on his face.

"You really don't know, do you?" I asked in disbelief. Was he really that dumb? I heard a dark laughter sound deep inside me. Or was he just faking it? A smirk playing on my lips. I think the latter seemed more believable.

"Would I ask you if I knew the answer?" he tilted his head and looked me straight in the eyes, sounding a little cocky again.

I stared right back, something I wouldn't normally do under the circumstances. Where did this rush of courage come from? Maybe it was the excess adrenaline? Weird how the human body works huh?

"Okay, you sure you want to know? I mean, we can talk about something else you know?" I asked, rhetorically. I was stalling for time, trying my best to somehow change the topic. Yeah right, I wish it was that easy to get out of this conversation.

My plan clearly wasn't working. He seemed to know me well enough.

He strategically placed his hands on the wall, cornering me into the confinements of his arms. We were standing close enough, but barely touching at all.

Tense, much?

"Just tell me.. I promise I won't cry," he winked at me coyly.

"Alright," I whispered. I guess I might as well come clean this time... Or else I'll never get to leave in one piece!

"I'm scared of you," I started, my eyes darting from his eyes to something irrelevant in the distance, "Because you make me feel like I'm not me anymore when I'm with you," I muttered. "It's like I can't control what and how I feel.. like my emotions aren't even mine,"

"What scares the living daylights out of me is that I can't seem to not think about you, how every little thing I come across seems to remind me of you," I took a deep breath and went on, "And the fact that my heart and my brain can no longer cooperate with me anymore,"

"But I guess.. what frightens me most is losing you," I kicked at an invisible rock by my feet. "Though I never exactly had you in the first place, per se," I uttered under my breath.

"I..." I shuffled my feet and glanced at him, "What I'm trying to say is that, I think I.. kind of.. maybe.. like you, as more than just a friend,"

There! I said it! I said it all! Happy now?

I felt my ears turn red as I finished up my super long and winding award winning speech. Letting it all out was a relief, I was breathing easy once more. With nothing else left to do, I began admiring my shoes again.

He tilted my chin, and I found myself staring into his eyes for the umpteenth time today. Crap, I think I'm blushing.. he never fails to do that to me.

"What a coincidence," he beamed.

"I feel the exact same way too," he whispered into my ear and I caught a glimpse of his smiling eyes.

-Rachel-