Revelation

Diana

"Hi," a voice said behind me.

I turned around. It was her. I sighed inwardly.

"Hi," I answered in reply. I tried to smile but could only manage to half-heartedly bare my teeth. Not exactly the warmest of welcomes. She didn't seem to notice, though.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"No, not at all," I replied, but the hesitation in my voice was apparent even to myself.

She slid into the seat opposite mine anyway, oblivious (or perhaps not) to the unspoken cues that I was giving.

I sipped my coffee silently, not looking at her. Maybe it was chatter that she wanted, but it was silence that she was going to get. I wasn't going to pretend to be friendly, not today, not with her.

"Can I ask you a direct question?"

I looked up. She was staring at me intently, as if trying to figure something out.

I shrugged. "Sure."

"You love him, don't you?"

I was taken aback. Now THAT was a question I hadn't been expecting.

I feigned ignorance. "What are you talking about? Love who?"

"Come on, don't act dumb. You know who. James." Her eyes held an expression that I could not name. It wasn't anger, but it certainly wasn't nonchalance either.

I opened my mouth in protest but she must have anticipated my reaction and cut me off before I could say a word.

"Every time he comes into the room, your eyes light up. And every time I try to approach you, I sense a hidden envy. And you've been morose ever since you humiliated him. A very unusual reaction, I must say. Every time someone mentions his name or the incident you look guilty and regretful."

"But that doesn't mean...."

She held up her hand to cut me off again. "Whatever you're going to say, look into my eyes before you say it."

I took a deep breath, then raised my eyes to meet hers. There was a long pause. Then I said simply, "Yes, I do."

She leaned back and gave a wry smile. "Thanks for being honest."

I looked down at my coffee, not knowing what else to say.

"He loves you too, you know."

I snapped my head back up, stunned.

"How do you...?"

"His eyes light up when YOU enter the room, not me. He talks about you all the time, even when he's talking with me. Back when the two of you were still talking to each other, he spent more time with YOU than he did with ME. And ever since you two fought, he's been feeling depressed and guilty too, just like you. And even though we're sort of together, I can sense the distance between the two of us that I don't sense when I see the two of you together. Above all, the simple fact is that he, like you, is a bad liar."

"But he told me..."

"I know what he told you. He lied."

"Then why...?"

"His father. My father is his father's primary financial supporter. You know James. You know the loyalty he has to his family. I think he even tried to convince himself that he loved me. But I knew better."

I stared at her for a while in disbelief. But she was being completely serious, and I knew she was telling me the truth, or at least what she believed was the truth.

"Why now?" I asked simply.

"Because he's leaving tomorrow."

"WHAT???"

"He's leaving tomorrow," she repeated. "You know where. He'll be gone for almost a year."

The news completely overwhelmed me. I struggled to comprehend, to process what was happening in my mind. I opened my mouth once or twice but no words came out.

"And just in case you're wondering, I'm not mad. I love him, but I know that I'm not right for him. You are." With that said, she stood up abruptly, turned, and walked away, but I could have sworn that I saw a silent tear roll down her cheek.

And all I felt inside was turmoil.